Yesterday I had the pleasure of calling the phone number above. Yep, that’s right, I had to call Poison Control. Somehow Miss G got ahold of a bottle of hand sanitizer, and the next thing I know she turns up in the kitchen, hands me the nearly empty bottle, reeking of Germ X and pointing to her mouth. I asked her over and over if she ate it, and she kept telling me ‘yes’. I examined her room to see if there was any in there and I found a bunch she had poured onto her floor (Ahhh! The new carpet!) and then there was a ton down the front of her dress (Ahhh! It’s all over her stomach and hands!), and I thought I smelled it on her face by her mouth (AHHH!!! SHE’S BEEN EATING IT!!!), but I couldn’t be exactly sure if she had actually swallowed any or was just refferring to the bad taste in her mouht from licking her hands or something. So, like any
neglectful responsible and hysterical concerned parent, I immediately call Poison Control to see what, if anything, I should do.
The Poison Control associate on the other end sounded really bored when he answered, almost irritated in fact that I was bothering him, but I started in explaining my dilemma right away. He asked me if she was she vomiting, unresponsive, or lethargic, and how much had she possibly ingested and I explained that I wasn’t sure but that I was calling to be on the safe side. Still sounding completely bored and a bit cranky as if he gets this kind of call from panicked moms all of the time, he said that he doubts she had ingested any serious amount of the hand sanitizer since it tastes so bad, and I really shouldn’t worry. Yeah, duh! I thought about that too, but like I said, better…safe…than…sorry (you darn dirty jerk!) After taking down our info, he told me to give her liquids, keep an eye on her and watch for any signs of drunkeness, and to take her to the ER immediately if she exibits any, then he promptly hung up on me.
Um wait, drunkeness!?!?! Seriously?!?!
Great, I was NOT calling that jerk back. So we watched her, no signs, she’s fine, and my stomach began to un-knot several hours later.
Still irked by the guy on the other end though. Thanks for making me feel like I’m wasting your time with my call (lousy human mustard).